Therapy
by The Head Reviewer
Summary: "Is it weird that I want to bang my brother's girlfriend who looks like the twin of our shared ex-girlfriend?" Damon sees a therapist.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah blah. _

"Is it weird that I want to bang my brother's girlfriend who looks like the twin of our shared ex-girlfriend?"

Damon lies down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling where an abstract picture stares down at him. He has his hands folded across his chest while his therapist sits on a chair next to him, legs crossed and notebook in hand.

"I can't say it's exactly normal," his therapist frowns, jotting own a few things. "Does she approve of your _lifestyle_?"

Damon rolls his eyes. "If you're referring to being vampire, then yes. Total fangbanger."

His therapist clears his throat, shaking his head slightly. "Human blood. Your brother-" He flips through lots of pages of past notes "Stefan doesn't drink human blood. How does she feel about you on a diet of human blood?"

"Thinks I'm a monster. But it's better that way," Damon smirks.

His therapist removes his glasses lightly. "I think what you need to do is-"

"What? Tell Elena how I feel?" Damon sits up, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Yeah and then her, me, and Stefan can be a perfect little family!"

Damon's therapist continues to furiously jot down notes, half unable to comprehend this train wreck of a vampire and half telling himself he wasn't getting paid enough. "I was going to tell you to make sure that when you see Elena, you don't get confused with Katherine. Who's to say when you see Katherine, you'll forget all about Elena?"

"I'm over Katherine," Damon reassures.

His therapist raises his eyebrows, flipping back a few more pages. "Really? Because in an earlier session you told me about 'going to any measure to get your _dearest _Katherine back' and how she was and is the 'eternal love of your life.' From what I hear, you're extremely unstable when it comes to Katherine."

"So you're basically telling me my feelings for Elena aren't real? I'm just extremely horny and want to be with Elena due to her resemblance to Katherine."

"While you're feelings for Elena may be real, your feelings for Katherine remain buried deep inside. The fact that this scenario is re-living itself from 1864 is no coincidence either. Are you willing to drag Elena into all this? You can't have both Katherine and Elena. And Elena can't have both you and Stefan. And Katherine seems to go to extreme lengths to have you and Stefan. The four of you being together would break all sorts of taboo. Incest on a whole new level, don't you think?"

Damon rolls his eyes again. "I'm not asking for Katherine and Elena in bed together with me..." Damon's voice trails off as in mind plays out explicit play-by-play details of what it would be like. He snaps out of it and groans, "And I don't want to have to share a bed with Stefan, either."

The therapist checks his watch. "We're, uh, running out of time so I'll ask you this. What is it that makes you feel for Elena?"

Damon checks his own watch. "We've got another 45 minutes, at least."

His therapist gives a weak smile. "Well, uh, I'm going to have to cut you a little short today."

Damon shrugs. "Elena is... Elena is sweet. Most of the time. And so innocent and virtuous. She's always the good guy. I can trust her. We have this mutual understanding. We're like each other in so many ways. But the hardest part for me is the fact that she was willing to save me. She decided that I was worth saving. She's saved my life on multiple occasions and I want to be able to thank her for that."

"I see. Anything else?"

"Well, she's beautiful and funny and kind and caring..." Damon seems dazed and very out of character.

His therapist finishes jotting down notes before closing the notepad. He places it in a thick folder entitled _Damon Salvatore _and stands up. "Well, your time for today is up."

Damon gets up as well, his hands in his pockets. "Same time next week?"

"Of course," his therapist says. "Don't do anything stupid, either."

Damon gives him a smile. "Do I ever?"

FIN


End file.
